Christmas

Pat at Two Blonde Boys asked for responses to this quote from Charles Spurgeon from a sermon given December 24, 1871:

We have no superstitious regard for times and seasons. Certainly we do not believe in the present ecclesiastical arrangement called Christmas. First, because we do not believe in the mass at all, but abhor it, whether it be sung in Latin or in English. Secondly, because we find no Scriptural warrant whatever for observing any day as the birthday of the Savior; and consequently, its observance is a superstition, because not of divine authority. 'Superstition' has fixed most positively the day of our Savior's birth, although there is no possibility of discovering when it occurred. ... It was not till the middle of the third century that any part of the Church celebrated the nativity of our Lord; and it was not till very long after the Western Church had set the example, that the Eastern adopted it. ... Probably the fact is that the "holy" days were arranged to fit in with the heathen festivals. We venture to assert, that if there be any day in the year, of which we may be pretty sure that it was not the day on which the Savior was born, it is the 25th of December. ... Regarding not the day, let us, nevertheless, give God thanks for the gift of His dear Son.

Last year, I read a book titled "Stories Behind the Great Traditions of Christmas". It was really amazing to learn that the idea of Christmas (a relatively new holiday) was opposed by many church leaders when it was established. Apparently the holiday celebration started to combine with the pagan winter solstice celebrations which involved a lot of activity the church didn't want to be associated with. But the people who chose December 25 as Christmas Day did so to give Christians an alternative to these celebrations (kind of like today's Harvest Parties on Halloween). I agree with Spurgeon's comments that special "holy" days aren't important to our spirituality and that December 25 is not really when Jesus was born. But I don’t think of Christmas as either of those things. It’s a time to celebrate with family and friends and a time to reflect on the incarnation, regardless of what day of the year it really occurred. I appreciate that Spurgeon was able to "give God thanks for the gift of His dear Son" despite his total disapproval of Christmas.

Angel's Invitation

I know it's been a long time, but I'm still here. I thought I should post my Christmas song before Christmas is over. I was going to get you an mp3 so you could hear it too (voice only), but I've had some technical trouble so I'm giving up. (Anyone want to host my file so I can link to it here?) But here are the words. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!!!

UPDATE: Thanks to nerdmom for the offer to host my mp3. I actually was able to do it myself on a subsequent attempt. So here it is. (Sorry it's nothing more than me singing into the PC mike--I figured that's better than nothin'!)

Angel's Invitation

Caught off guard
An angel speaks.
God's mighty power is released.
Baby's born,
God's own son.
This great adventure has begun.

By an angel's invitation
I'm here tonight.
In this dark and dreary stable
Shines God's hope-filled light.
And though I'd never dreamed I'd be here
In all my imagination
How could I refuse
An angel's invitation?

What appeared
As betrayed love
Was salvation from above.
Now months have passed
And here I stand.
How will I raise God's given lamb?

By an angel's invitation
I'm here tonight.
In this dark and dreary stable
Shines God's hope-filled light.
And though I'd never dreamed I'd be here
In all my imagination
How could I refuse
An angel's invitation?

An average night:
Restless sleep,
Keeping watch and counting sheep.
Angels come.
They shout and sing.
Who am I to greet this King?

By an angel's invitation
I'm here tonight.
In this dark and dreary stable
Shines God's hope-filled light.
And though I'd never dreamed I'd be here
In all my imagination
How could I refuse,
Tell me how could I refuse
An angel's invitation?

My Thanksgiving Story

For Thanksgiving, my family drove to Porterville (about an hour away from Fresno) to celebrate with my husband Brad's side of the family: Thanksgiving on Thursday and Brad's and his mom's birthdays on Friday. Thursday morning was a little crazy getting everyone up and going, plus packing for everyone for our overnight trip. (For anyone who hasn't traveled with a baby: Babies require lots of stuff. It doesn't seem like they should need so much, but once you get everything together that they might need, it somehow easily fills a mid-sized SUV.) So around 9:30 we're walking out the door a little rushed and frazzled and I say to Brad, "Well, if we forgot anything, we can buy it when we get there... Well, tomorrow since everything's closed today." "Yeah, right. The busiest shopping day of the year," Brad reminds me. "Well, then we'll just do without," I say, confident we have everything. Little did I realize at that moment, that the bag with Brad's and my clothes and toiletries was sitting on our bed, packed and ready to go nowhere. We didn't realize this until about 7:30 that night. I was filled with disbelief, blame, panic, and laughter in that order. Brad drove around Porterville and found one gas station mini-mart open. He found one of the four items on our list of necessities that my mother-in-law didn't have to offer us. It wasn't deoderant. Then we changed into funny, borrowed clothes and washed our own. (This was pretty necessary since I had been spit-up on several times that day.) The next morning we showered, put on our clean clothes, and found a Long's Drugs that wasn't filled with Christmas shoppers and bought deoderant (Happy Birthday Brad). I wish I could say that somehow through all this I learned to be thankful, but it just isn't that kind of story. It is funny, though. Now.

Bumbershoot

That's a word you'll need as the weather turns wetter, a fun alternative to the not-so-boring word "umbrella". It's Merriam-Webster Online's word of the day today. Click here to read more about "bumbershoot".

Update: Help Curb the Litter Problem

How cool is this? I got a letter from William Skinner, the Interim Assistant Director of the Fresno Department of Public Utilities. Not a form letter but a real, personally written letter. He says he spoke with the "city refuse collection vehicle" drivers in my area about the problem. He also claims he has visited my neighborhood the last three weeks after the garbage pickup to make sure the areas were clean. And I have noticed a difference in the neatness of the neighborhood as well. I am quite impressed. I did not expect such feedback, but am pleased with it, of course. (He also noted that it is important to not overfill the "refuse carts" as that might cause material to fall out upon dumping.)

Out Of Excuses

This morning I was in a parking lot and a young guy approached me asking for money for gas for him and his mom. I thought for a second and then told him a half-truth (i.e. a lie) that I didn't have any cash. He thanked me and went on. About five seconds later I remembered that I had a new plan for handling those types of situations (meet him at the gas station and purchase some gas for him there) but, of course, by then it was too late. I was always taught not to give anything out to people who ask for anything. They're just going to spend the money on alcohol or drugs. They might be dangerous. They're probably high right now and will pull out a knife and stab you if you make eye contact. That sort of thing. At some point I started to feel convicted, though. That I should be feeding the hungry, you know? But, I reasoned, they are probably lying about their needs, so that frees me from any obligation to help them. Jesus didn't say to feed the liars, right? But I've come to the point where I can hardly keep lying to myself anymore. I know I can buy someone what they need instead of giving money. I know I can request to meet them in a safer place to offer help. And who ever said that doing the right thing is risk-free, anyway? I've also come to realize that I could be in that person's place. I mean, I used to believe that to the extent that I'm a person and they're a person, so okay, yeah. But I really believe that now. Had I made slightly different decisions in my life, I could be asking you for some money, too. Depending on what happens tomorrow, I could be asking you for help next week. I could be asking you for gas money because I need more gas. Or I could be asking you for gas money because I need more liquor. My pride makes me not want to believe it, but pride won't save me from calamity or consequences. So how can I treat someone whose distress could be mine, someone created by God in His image, with such total disrespect and fear? I have no more excuses.

Losing

I was wrong to count on Brett Favre. The guy only got me .28 point (yes, that's .28, not 28) out of my losing total of 46.83. I believe this is the worst score I've had all season. (Gabe scored 80.15 points.) Not everyone's scores are final yet since there's still a game tonight, but it looks like I may slip from 7th to 9th. Ouch!

Fantasy Football Fun

My brother-in-law, Gabe, started a fantasy football league for my family this year. I had never participated in one before and I'm always up for any sort of competition, so I signed up and put together my team. It's nothing like real football: I beat my husband and lost to my mother. But it's a lot of fun. We (well about half of the ten of us) do a lot of smack talking against whoever we're playing the next week. This week I'm up against Gabe, the king of smack talk, so there has been some fun and friendly banter between us that I thought you might enjoy reading. My team is UnnecessaryRoughness and his team is the Killer Chameleons. (And this is all in good fun.)

From: UnnecessaryRoughness
Title: Dearest Gabe...
Message: What is that old saying? Pride comes before what? Ah yes: Pride comes before a fall. One good score and it all goes to your head. Please don't fool yourself into forgetting the previous seven weeks, brother-in-law. I'd hate for you to make a fool of yourself and you're newly named team. Your team reminds me a bit of Brett Favre's performance: He feels the pressure, plays a good game and then gets overconfident and throws a few interceptions. But what am I doing comparing your piecemeal team with one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time? Oh yeah, and Favre should be feeling the pressure this week and put up a pretty good score. Maybe I should just play him alone to give you a good chance of winning.

From: Killer Chameleons
Title: sara, sara, sara...
Message: i don't want you to get confused and think that just because my team has a bunch of people you've never heard of, that they aren't still powerful. clearly you are a bit confused, however, if you think that favre is going to get you any more wins this year. if you think throwing five interceptions in one game is good, then please, by all means, start him this week and let's see what happens. let's just say that i have a feeling this is the week where i finally climb out of the 'Starbucks Card' hole...i've kept the spot warm for you, though, so i hope you enjoy 9th place!
Your respectful bro-in-law,
gabe

From: UnnecessaryRoughness
Title: To Gabe
Message: Gabe, you may have just had a birthday but it is evident that you are still so young. To say that I don't know any of your players is inaccurate. In fact, I know a couple of them well enough that I dumped them off of my team to get rid of dead weight. But if they are the players you deem best, well, then, I certainly won't stop you from playing them. On another note, it saddens me so to see the league commissioner struggling just to get out of ninth place while the rest of us are trying to win the jackpot. Such pity brings to my mind thoughts of throwing this match so that you can keep your dignity. But I'm sure you wouldn't accept such charity. So, if by some chance you do win this week, you can be sure that it was by your own good luck.

From: Killer Chameleons
Title: let me tell you a thing or two about luck...
Message: Luck is drafting Tomlinson in an autodraft and coasting on his back through the fantasy football season, thinking that somehow that makes you good at this game (yes curtis, i have dragged you back into this). It takes a lot more than luck to sort through leftovers on the waiverwire and piece together a team that is good enough to not only replace injuries to your #1 wr and rb, but also to put together a 100-point performance with those same players - the players who other managers mistook for worthless. Yes, Sara, it takes a lot more than luck to see potential in someone who others think is dead weight'. And it takes more than luck to realize that Brett Favre is past his prime and probably shouldn't be drafted in the first round. And finally, it takes a lot more than luck to smack-talk everyone you play when you have arguably the worst team in the league (I may be bad, but I will not be silent!)... No, Sara, it takes what we call skill to do all of these things, and this weekend you will get an up-close experience with some of the mad skills that I am talking about... Enjoy the lesson!
Your teacher,
Gabe

From: UnnecessaryRoughness
Title: Pick a game and play it
Message: If you are trying to win the smack talk game (for which there are no monetary or Starbuck's prizes) then you are definitely a frontrunner, Gabe. But if you are going to take such pride in your smack performances you can at least grant us all the privilege of hearing some new material instead of a rehash of previous weeks' talk. Of course, I understand if you just can't think of anything bad to say against my team and that's why you have to go back to smacking Curtis. Not that it makes a difference in the game the rest of us are playing: I expect Curtis's and my teams will both score more than yours this week.

Superdome Rumors Denied

I found this article (Echo Chamber in the Superdome: A Louisiana National Guardsman explains how he dealt with false rumors being piped into Ground Zero of Hurricane Katrina) through Ethos the other day and I found it quite interesting. It was written over three weeks ago so it's not quite "news".

The Count of Monte Cristo

I accidentally started reading The Count of Monte Cristo the other day. I'd read the book many years ago but my stepdad had taken it off the shelf and was reading it while he was visiting the other day. So instead of putting it away I started reading the first page and I was hooked. Seriously, on the first page. I had to read on. So now I'm about 150 pages into it, just by reading a little now and then. I'm not a big reader. I'm more like a wannabe reader. I love books and own bunches of them. I love book stores and libraries. I just don't like reading so much. It's always seemed like work. But more recently I've been able to make my way through several books very quickly. Part of the reason it often seems like work is because I normally choose non-fiction. But reading fiction is definitely more fun. The funny thing is, it's still challenging. In this book in particular, the story takes place in another century, in another country (and was also written in another century, country, and language) so I am having to infer a lot about history and geography based on the details mentioned. I have a pretty good-sized vocabulary and yet there are words I'm not familiar with, or sometimes usages that I'm not familiar with, so I'm learning all sorts of stuff as I read. And it doesn't feel like work. I haven't read a book like this in so long. The quality of writing is so much higher than what you get in a magazine, newspaper, or blog. (I've paused here for several minutes trying to figure out how to describe the writing.) It's poetic. It gets inside of me. It inspires me. The author has me wrapped around his finger and I will follow him wherever he takes me, no matter how grotesque a scene or suspenseful a moment. If you haven't read some good classic literature for a while, I highly recommend it. I think I am going to have to make sure I read a good classic like this every once in a while.

Just as a note: I am reading the abridged version. The reviews I read at amazon.com all recommended the full version despite its length.

Word Verification

Just a note that I am now using word verification for comments. You'll just have to type in the letters you see before you leave your comment. This prevents comment spam. (I got an automated comment within 60 seconds of posting my last post!)

New Song

It's kind of funny. One of my reasons for starting this blog was to post songs I write as I write them. I started out posting a few I had already written to give myself a headstart. And then... And then I didn't write anymore. So now I have one I'm working on and I want to finish but I keep dragging my feet. So I am posting the chorus now as a down payment. I am committing to finishing this song! And it better be before Christmas since it is Christmas themed. Here is my the chorus to "Angel's Invitation":

By an angel's invitation
I'm here tonight.
In this dark and dreary stable
Shines God's hope-filled light.
And though I'd never dreamed I'd be here
In all my imagination,
How could I refuse
An angel's invitation?

Help Curb the Litter Problem

Thursday I sat down to pay my bills. Inside my bill from the City of Fresno Utilities Department was a little flier stating "Join Mayor Alan Autry in curbing the litter problem in Fresno." It went on to explain why and how you shouldn't litter. I'm not sure that a notice like this is going to prevent a litterbug (Is that a word you're only supposed to use as a kid? I don't know.) from littering. (Litterbug's unlikely thoughts: That was a delicious hamburger. Well, I'll just throw the wrapper down here... Wait a minute! Mayor Autry said to put stuff like this into a garbage can. I'll put this into one of those conveniently located trash containers!) But that's not really my point here. What I was thinking as I read this notice was how just the day before I was taking a walk in my neighborhood and there was garbage all over the streets and sidewalks. I live in a neighborhood that is normally very clean. So why all the trash? Because it was trash day. You know, the day when the city sends their trucks to pick up each can sitting at the curb and turn it upside down emptying most of its contents into the truck. Every house has litter in front of it by noon on Wednesdays. And the people I pay to do this for me are asking me to keep the place clean! I was a little irked by this (as you might be able to tell) so I wrote a letter to the mayor (and cc'd the Solid Waste Division) asking for his help to "curb the litter problem in Fresno."

Did the Japanese Mafia Cause Katrina?

I had to share this. It gave me a good laugh and then left me wondering if it could be true. Scott Stevens, a real meteorologist, believes that the Japanese mafia has a weather machine created by Russia during the Cold War and that they have used this machine to create Hurricane Katrina as well as many other weather phenomena. He left his day job yesterday to pursue research on his weather theories full-time. Read more here and here.

The Night

The night used to hold such mystery. I remember getting out of bed one night after I’d been tucked in and finding my older sister eating a green Popsicle (the best flavor, as everyone knows, yet apparently the toughest to make since they would only put one or two in a box). I had always guessed that I was missing out on good things by going to bed and this just confirmed my belief. I can also remember nights I would wake up after everyone in the house was in bed and asleep. It was so silent. I would lie in bed and wonder if every house was this silent or if there were people up and about at this hour. In college, I stayed up many nights with friends, sometimes late enough to watch the sun rise. We had the whole Fresno State campus to ourselves. We would walk around, play games, and just generally waste the night away. I would go back to my dorm and everyone would be just waking up for another dull day. Finally I was on the other side! They had missed out on fun all night and I hadn’t! I had finally captured some of what I knew the night had to offer! But my grades suffered and I returned, more or less, to the discipline of sleeping at night. And I still felt I was missing out. Now, many years later, I often find myself up late at night or in the very early hours of the morn. But there are no games, no friends, no Popsicles. My nights now are for sleeping when I can and taking care of little ones’ needs when I must. I no longer wonder about, fear, nor desire the night. It’s really a lot like the day, only darker and quieter. The night used to hold such mystery.

Taking Aim

As I promised a few weeks ago, I have thought about how I would like to live the next ten years of my life. I had a lot of thoughts go through my mind and was finally able to organize them. I believe that God created each one of us with both general and specific purposes. I believe that true fulfillment for each person comes through worshiping and serving God but how we carry those out will differ greatly from person to person and, I guess, from time to time. So this is for me, for now:

Worship -

I want to see and savor the beauty in life. God reveals his glory in so many ways and I think I miss it most of the time. I hope to see more by keeping my eye open for beauty: beauty in nature, beauty in people, beauty in circumstances.

I want to worship God through songs I write. Ever since I decided to make a concerted effort to write songs, I have spent less and less time doing it. I want to make songwriting a more regular part of my life.

Serve -

I want to get over myself. I've realized that there are two things that keep me from doing things I should do... and they're both me. 1) I get so concerned about what other people will think of me that sometimes I don't do what God wants me to. 2) I think that if I take a step of faith, I might not have what it takes to take the second or third steps. But the thing is: It's not about me. Who cares if someone dislikes me along the way because I'm doing God's work. It's not really my problem, but God's. And I won't have what it takes to move forward--God provides that, not me. Again, God's problem, not mine. I've got to get this into my brain so that I can serve Him better. And I know the best way to do it is to just jump in!

I want to live each day with fervor. I don't want to "give up" in life. I refuse to settle for a life of mediocrity, but instead choose to passionately pursue a life of meaning.

I want to encourage thought and study among Christians. I recently read a book I've mentioned here before called Love Your God With All Your Mind. It made me see how important it is for those in the church to be developing our minds. I want to actively be developing my mind and encouraging others to do the same. I also want to read more during this decade of my life than in the previous three combined.

So there you have it. My goals for the next ten years. Some of the details may change over time, but it's good to have a place to start and something to strive for. This has been a good exercise and I challenge you to do the same for your next five or ten or twenty years. And I'd love to hear what you come up with!

Spoiled or Blessed?

I spent a good portion of the previous week celebrating my 30th birthday. Several weeks back, my sister had asked what I wanted to do to celebrate. I told her some things I had thought of but realized that having recently had a baby 1) I don't feel like planning some sort of get together like I normally would and 2) I think everyone must be getting tired of giving me all the attention. Well, I had four separate birthday celebrations, two of them surprises, and I had a great time! The last one was the biggest surprise: The first three were all with family and I had really wanted to do something fun with my friends. By Sunday, I had decided that that wasn't going to happen and then SURPRISE!, it did!

See, in my life things happen in one of three ways:
1) Sara wants something. Sara gets it. (95% of the time)
2) Sara wants something. Sara doesn't get it right away, is disappointed, but accepts it. Sara gets what she wanted anyway. (4.5%)
3) Sara wants something. Sara doesn't get it, is disappointed, but accepts it. Sara realizes it's better that she doesn't have what she wanted. (.5%)

I call that "spoiled". My husband suggested "blessed". I think the difference is how it's received. Certainly I take many things for granted, but in the last week I have been reminded that I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for. At the (100%) risk of sounding cliche (and I've always thought this sounded so insincere, though I mean it): That's the best birthday gift of all.

Wretched man that I am!

"For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."
Romans 7:14-25 (NASB)

Today I identified with Paul's struggle. I went to the grocery store for only the second time alone with both kids. Shopping with an infant and a toddler is made much easier by these neat carts some of the grocery stores have. Our store has these carts where one or two children can sit inside the "car" and then another can sit in the normal grocery cart seat. This worked great for me the first shopping trip. Well, today I arrived at the store, baby car seat/carrier in one hand, toddler's hand in the other, only to search the front of the store, ask for assistance and find that all two of these carts were currently in use. (Have you ever been in a situation and you get to a point where you realize things are not going to turn out well no matter what you do from here on out, and you have the choice to keep going anyway or bail? I had just reached that point. I decided to keep on.) So my son, who's not quite two, walked with me. Now, you expect that's where the problem was, right? No, he did great. Did my baby cry the whole time? No, she slept like, well, like a baby. It was me. I was the problem. I was so upset the store would only have two carts capable of holding more than one child. Oh, and then, as I shopped, when I would see the shoppers using the car carts--I kept looking at them like it was their fault. Everytime I passed a store employee and they cheerfully greeted me, I would say "Hi" with a tone and facial expression to convey how miserable I was and all because of them. But all along, I kept telling myself, "Everything's going fine. Just get over it and enjoy the shopping trip. Be happy. You're just making yourself miserable." But I wouldn't listen to myself! "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" Today's experience is rather silly, but the struggle is so real! "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."

I Mean It...

...I'm not abandoning my blog!

Things have been so hectic. I have found myself holding my baby about 12 to 14 hours a day. There aren't many things one can do while holding a baby so that leaves 10 to 12 hours a day for everything else: sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom.... Needless to say, blogging is down the list a way. Well, one day I will be able to return to more regular posts, but when you don't hear from me for a while, now you know why.

On another topic, I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks. It's kind of funny: I don't have any expectations about my thirties. Since I was young, I looked forward to certain ages: 12, 17, 21, 25.... But that's where it ended. I don't have anything I dreamed of doing in my thirties or even thoughts of what life would be like. That makes it kind of exciting. I'm looking forward to this decade of my life. It's like starting with a blank canvas. I look forward to seeing what God will paint on this canvas. I wonder what sort of trials I will face and what kinds of victories I will celebrate. I wonder what my family will look like ten years from now. Hmm... I wonder what I will look like ten years from now. Maybe I shouldn't go there. :) But, seriously, I have no idea. I don't have plans.

I just had an idea! I will make myself a goal for the next decade: A "live life to the fullest" sort of goal. And you can help! What sort of primer would you put on a blank canvas like this? Do you have any advice for someone entering her thirties? (Whether you've been there yet or not!) Post your comments here and I will compose and post a "goal" for my thirties with your help over the next couple weeks! I'll put a lot of thought into it--Now, that's something I can do while I hold my baby!

Quick Post

Just a quick post to say I'm not abandoning my blog! I'm actually preparing an entry on some deep thoughts I've had recently. In the mean time, check out this personality test I found over at Two Blonde Boys.

Funny Commercial

I found the recent Fruit of the Loom commercial quite entertaining. It's a country music video by "The Fruit Guys". I especially love the way the singer looks right at the camera with such seriousness. It's classic. View it here.

Random facts about me

I received an email from a friend with all these questions answered by her and a request to answer them myself and pass it on to all my friends. I thought it sounded like a fun way to let you, my loyal readers, learn more about me. So here goes...

1. What is your occupation?
Mom

2. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing but the sound of the air conditioner

3. What was the last thing you ate?
A frozen burrito and corn with cheddar and bacon sauce, which wasn't really as good as it sounds

4. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Midnight blue

5. How is the weather right now?
Sunny and hot

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
I'm currently speaking with Jackie!

7. How old are you today?
29

8. Favorite drink?
Pepsi

9. Favorite sport to watch?
Basketball

10. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Highlights only and that only recently

11. Do you wear contacts?
Nope

12. Favorite month?
May or September

13. Favorite food?
Cheetos Puffs, chicken tacos, anything with gravy, most anything chocolate

14. What was the last movie you watched?
On TV: Notting Hill, On DVD: Toy Story 2, In the theater: Coach Carter

15. Favorite day of the year?
August 25 (my birthday!)

16. What do you do to vent anger?
Make my husband listen to every detail about what angered me

17. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Probably my walkie-talkies (which looks really weird spelled out)

18. Fall or Spring?
Spring

19. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs

20. Cherry or Blueberry?
Cherry (I can't stand blueberry!)

21. Do you want your friends to email you back?
With their answers to these questions? Yes.

22. Who is most likely to respond?
I'm really not sure.

23. Who is least likely to respond?
Again, I'm really not sure. I guess I don't know my friends too well!

24. When was the last time you cried?
Sometime in the last two weeks since my daughter was born.

25. What is on the floor of your closet?
More shoes than you probably think I own.

26. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Tracie

27. What did you do last night?
Tried (rather successfully) to sleep while my newborn daughter was fussing and crying in the bassinet two feet away from me.

28. Favorite smell?
A freshly hosed-off patio in the summer

29. What inspires you?
Visual snapshots of nature or my family when I mentally take a step back and just observe

30. What are you afraid of?
Fire

31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
Spicy

32. Favorite car?
My college vehicle: 1981 Ford Bronco

33. Favorite dog breed?
Not big into dogs

34. Number of keys on your key ring?
6

35. How many years at your current job?
Almost two years

36. What is your favorite day of the week?
Thursday (it's like Friday's Friday)

37. How many states have you lived in?
Just this one

38. How many cities have you lived in?
Two

Weather Fun With Crickets

Just for fun, I thought I'd let all you recreational meteorologists in on a little weather secret: How can you determine the outdoor temperature if you don't have a thermometer, but there are crickets nearby and they are chirping (meaning it is probably nighttime)? If you need to know the temperature and you happen to find yourself in these conditions, you are in luck! Just count the number of cricket chirps (from one isolated cricket, of course) in 14 seconds. Add 40 to that number and, voila, you now know the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit! Of course, keep in mind, with the weather we've had in Fresno lately, even the nighttime temperatures may require you to count 40 chirps in 14 seconds! (I got this particular formula at http://www.almanac.com/outdoors/crickets.php) Have fun!

...And We're Back

Annalise Kay and I are home from the hospital! She was born Monday morning at 8:06. She weighed in at 9 pounds, 3 ounces (the doctor was right about her size!) and is 21 inches long. She was also born with a full head of dark brown hair! She is beautiful and healthy. I am doing well recovering from my surgery. I was off of prescription pain killers before leaving the hospital and I'm getting around fairly well.

Having a baby is such a strange thing in many ways. Just a few days ago, I ate pizza with my husband and my son. I went to the hospital, gave birth to a baby, and my world changed. I came home, and though it seemed to me everything had changed in the last few days, there was the leftover pizza in the fridge. And it was still good--I ate it for lunch. I still can't get a grasp of the whole thing: I feel like everything should be new and different, but it's not. I'm not sure whether that's disappointing or comforting. Maybe a little of both.

Well, that's enough reflection for now. Unfortunately, at this point my reflections are fueled by large shifts in my hormones and sleep deprivation, so I'm not sure they'll be very productive, but perhaps they'll be entertaining!

A large thanks to all of you who prayed for me through this last week and are celebrating with me now! You are true friends!

Baby Watch

God is merciful! My C-section has been rescheduled for 7:30 in the morning on Monday!!! I am very pleased with that. That meant I had to go in for a last-minute pre-op appointment this morning and I'll have to rethink my childcare strategy for Monday, but those inconveniences are worth not having to go without food and water for a day! And not having to be nervous all day leading up to the big event! Keep me and my little girl in your prayers!

Baby Watch

My C-section is now scheduled for Monday at 5PM. While I am not terribly enthused about having the surgery to begin with, what is most frustrating to me is that I am not to eat or drink anything, including water, after 7AM that day. It is supposed to be 98 degrees on Monday and I am to have no water all day. That sounds ridiculous to me. I understand the reasons I just think it is impractical to the point that maybe C-sections shouldn't be scheduled at 5PM. Well, I'll stop ranting now. I am just going to try to drink as much water as I can on Sunday and every time I wake up that night. (I don't expect to sleep too terribly well anyway.) So, that's the plan. Of course, now I'm hoping I DON'T go into labor between now and then!

Baby Watch

I went to the doctor this morning. I am still not dilated. And the doctor feels the baby is significantly larger than my son was at birth. So.... we are scheduling a C-section for one of the next few days. This is not the way I had hoped it would go, but at the same time I have to see that this may be God's way of protecting the baby and/or me. When deciding to do a VBAC, my husband and I both agreed that if I ended up having a C-section, there may be a reason for it, a reason we may never know. Knowing that doesn't take away my disappointment or dissolve my fears, but it does give me confidence that this is the best thing to do. I'll post another update when I know when the delivery will be.

Baby Watch

STILL no baby! Not even an hour and a half of fireworks motivated this baby to come out! I'll keep you updated!

Baby Watch

So I went to the doctor yesterday. Twice. Shortly after I arrived in the waiting room (the first time) the doctor was called out on emergency. (This is the first time this has ever happened during one of my appointments, believe it or not.) So I went home and waited to be called back in. At 4:45 the doctor's office calls and wants to reschedule me for Wednesday. Yes, practically a whole week away, and I'm supposed to be going in once a week! I started to complain and she asked how quickly I could get there. So, thankfully, they waited around for me so I was able to see the doctor yesterday.

The appointment was rather disappointing: I'm still not dilated at all. The doctor doesn't believe this baby is significantly larger than my son was at birth. I will see the doctor again on Wednesday (if not sooner) and we might do an ultrasound at that point to get another idea of how big the baby is. Well, we'll keep waiting!

Oh, today (July 1) is the day my family and I decided would be a convenient day to have the baby. (Friday before a long weekend.) There are still 17 hours left in the day, but I don't think our plan is going to work this time.

Baby Watch

I just wanted to add that I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon. I'm hoping he predicts I have the baby soon. My concern is this: I am planning to do a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) delivery. The only thing is, if this baby is going to be bigger than the last one (7 lbs., 4 oz. at 4 wks early), the doctor doesn't want to even attempt it--we'll just do a C-section. This baby is getting bigger and bigger everyday she's not born and I really don't want a C-section! He thinks she'll be 7 1/2 to 8 lbs. at term. If that is true, she should be between 6 and 7 lbs. now. So at tomorrow's appointment I'll get a labor prediction (soon, not soon) and a current size prediction (too big, not too big). Based on the combination of answers, I suppose we might plan for a C-section or we might wait. I'll post an update sometime after my doctor's visit!

Baby Watch

I had some contractions this morning but they stopped. Still no baby.

Baby Watch

On a suggestion from NerdMom, I am starting a "Baby Watch" segment here on my blog. I think it's a good idea--I know you all are as anxious as I am to have this baby. Okay, so you're not as anxious as I am. But you're interested, right? I've hesitated even doing this because I keep thinking, "Why put this on my blog when I'm going to have this baby any day? I'll mention it once and then the baby will be here." Well, many days have passed since I've been saying that and still no baby. And I'm still 16 days away from my due date. There is no indication that I am going to have this baby very soon. (Well, unless you count my occasional feeling that I might burst open.) I've had a few minor contractions over the last few days but that's it. Well, I'll try to keep up on this as the days go on. And I'll try to keep it interesting.

Numbers

I know it's been a long time, but I'm back. Well, for now. No telling what life will be like once the baby comes!

I read an interesting (to me) article at sciencenews.org today. If numbers and patterns intrigue you, you may find it of interest as well. Now, if you're the kind of person who gets frustrated by theory/proofs without application, then don't read it. It's a "dramatic tale" of partition numbers, prime numbers, and the beauty of numbers. (Yes, I said the beauty of numbers.)

Protection

Yesterday my son was playing outside with a small watering can while my husband and I were cleaning up our patio. He went up to my husband who had the hose asking for him to fill up the can. My husband looked down and saw a black widow in the watering can and grabbed it away from our son. As far as we could tell, the spider had not touched him, let alone bit him. Reflecting on this experience a little later I thought, "There is nothing more we could have done to protect him and, yet, we have no control over that spider--it could have crawled up on his hand and bit him." (We had even washed out the can several times before letting him play with it.) Then I recalled a simple prayer I pray most mornings: "God, please keep us healthy and safe." I had no control over that spider's actions but God did. Could it be that my little prayer is what kept my toddler safe? In fact, I hadn't even prayed that this particular morning. Did my prayer from the previous day cover this day as well? Sometimes I feel trite praying something so simple time and time again. And in my mind, I am asking for protection for that day, not the next. But God knows better. He knows we need his protection everyday. And He hears my prayer each time I pray it. But, regardless of whether God would have protected my son with or without my prayer, I must give the credit to Him. It was not my doing. "He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples {and spiders} under me." Psalm 144:2 NIV (braced phrase added by me)

Encouragement

Have you ever noticed how our human nature makes us love to receive encouragement but resist giving it? It's really crazy. For me personally, I thrive on encouragement from others. It makes me do whatever I'm doing better and with more purpose. A lack of encouragement causes me to question the importance of my actions or even my very self. Yet, how often do I give encouragement to others? Fairly often I'll say to myself or a friend, "Wow. She did a great job!" or "I sure appreciate him!" But, I'll guess it's less than 10% of those times that I actually say or write those words to that person! And it's such a simple thing to do!

Proverbs 3:27 says "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it." (NASB). This is usually used in reference to money or physical things, but I think it could easily be applied to any good thing. (The Hebrew word for "good" here is "towb" and can mean "welfare", "benefit", or "good things".) I thought of this verse with regard to encouragement because I truly think that I am withholding good from someone when I don't give encouragement. And when I imagine someone who withholds good things (love, kind words, gifts, kind deeds, a listening ear, mercy...) when it is in their power to give those things, I think of a cold, lonely, emotionally dried-up person--certainly someone I don't want to be.

So, what is it that makes me so resistant to encouraging someone? I'm not entirely sure, but I think what stops me the most is the perception that, by giving away encouragement, I am somehow losing something--that I will be less encouraged or happy. Of course this is nonsense when I write out the complete thought, but nonsense or not, it influences me! I cannot think of any good reason to withhold encouragement. And when I think of how much it means to me for someone to speak a kind word to me, I want to do the same for everyone else. So I'll live now with this freshly fueled fire and seek out ways to encourage. I just hope that when this fire begins to die out, as all fires tend to do, that someone's encouragement to me will help build it back up!

American Idol

If you didn't watch American Idol last night, you really missed out. Each of the three remaining contestants sung three songs. There really were no bad performances, but Bo absolutely outsang Vonzell and Carrie on all three songs! I am sure that one of the girls will be going home tonight. Last night made Bo look like the next American Idol, but I am going to stand by my past prediction: Carrie will win, Bo will take second.

Armor All

Today I learned that Armor All will not damage your eyes if it comes in contact, only irritate them. Of course, I didn't know that at the moment I realized my son had just sprayed some directly into his face. This is the first sort of toddler-getting-into-trouble incident he's had. (And the first for me as well.) I suppose there will be many more. I don't look forward to them, but I do look forward to looking back on them sometime in the distant future. He's fine, by the way. (And so am I.) In case you ever need to know, just flush the eyes with water for ten minutes--you should be fine after that.

Brian "Head" Welch

I really don't know much about the band Korn but I found this story of interest. (Admittedly, it's partially because I'm from Bakersfield.) Brian "Head" Welch, formerly of Korn, committed his life to Christ recently. He has left the band and is working on a solo album. Here is a link to This Guy Falls Down's entry with the links to a few stories. Here is Brian's website.

Worth

I recently spoke to a group of women on the topic of our worth. It's easy to think that my worth is determined by the things I do or by what other people think of me. With a definition like this, my value fluctuates everyday based on who I'm comparing myself to and who's opinion I'm looking for. But think about how the value of any sort of item is determined. I like to imagine an old wooden chair. Maybe one that is very ornately carved, but also very worn and very fragile. I would not care to have something like this in my house--it sounds like junk to me. But it is possible that this chair might be sold at an antiques auction for thousands of dollars. Why? Because it is worth that to one person. It's not worth it to me. But because it's worth it to one person, that chair is valued at thousands of dollars.

When God gave his son Jesus to die in my place, he paid a price for me. To God, I am worth Jesus's death. It doesn't matter that no one else would do that for me. It doesn't matter what I have done, good or bad. It doesn't matter what other people think of me. My worth has been determined and the price has been paid.

Whenever I start to become concerned about whether other people approve of me, I try to remember these verses and the following song that I wrote:

1 Corinthians 7:23 - “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.”

Matthew 10:29-31 - “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

You Are Worthy Little One

One disapproving look,
One broken heart,
All these judgments that are piled up on me.
When I imagine that others
Define my worth
I listen to You
And You say to me:

You are worthy little one.
Come into my presence.
You are worthy little one.
Come and sit by my throne.
You are worthy little one
To receive my blessing.
You are worthy little one
To be called My Own.

So when the winds of discouragement
Blow my way.
When sorrows like sea billows roll.
When none can be found
Who believes in me
I listen to You
And You say to me:

You are worthy little one.
Come into my presence.
You are worthy little one.
Come and sit by my throne.
You are worthy little one
To receive my blessing.
You are worthy little one
To be called My Own.

Mother's Day

Just a reminder that Mother's Day is just a few days away (Sunday, May 8). Don't forget to do something nice for the mothers in your life!!!

Clutter

My mind is so cluttered right now with so many things that I don't even know what to write about, but it's been several days so I wanted to post something. My desk is also cluttered. I'm not sure if the cluttered desk causes the cluttered mind or the other way around. When I used to spend most of my day at work in my own cubicle with my own desk, I could leave it a mess without any remorse. But since my cluttered desk is now at home and I share it and the space around it with my husband.... Well, I feel bad for making other people live in my mess. I thought about giving you an inventory of the load of miscellaneous items sitting here on this surface (perhaps somewhat entertaining) but then I realized, if I was going to the trouble of acknowledging each item, it would probably be a better use of my time to actually do something about them (much less entertaining). Well, actually, I'm not going to do either right now. Sorry for getting your hopes up!

American Idol

I've got to put in my two cents on this week in American Idol. If you haven't been keeping up, Anwar Robinson was voted off last week and this week, to everyone's (well, my) surprise, Constantine Maroulis went home. I agree with April's recent comment on my previous Idol post: Scott Savol and Anthony Federov definitely deserved to be gone before Constantine! Honestly, every week I am shocked to see Scott still there. And this week, he was in the top three of the six left! This guy definitely has his faithful fans. So, did I vote? No. Would I have voted for Constantine this week? Probably not. But it's just not right. Well, it will be interesting to see how the next few weeks play out.

Technical Difficulties

Okay. Somehow, my blog's template got replaced, meaning the appearance was different. I changed the appearance back but the changes I had made to the template ("books I'm reading" for example) is lost. That's what I get for not backing it up. I will restore that soon. Bummer. Well, maybe I'll make it even better!

The Trouble With Goals

I am a goal-oriented person. Everything I consciously do, I do to acheive a particular end. Not to say that every end is worthy of the effort, nor that every end is reached. Still, having a goal--a purpose of some sort--is what drives me to do things.

The easiest type of goal to work toward is a tangible one. I cook dinner so that, an hour later, I can eat it. It is no problem to motivate me to do something like that. But some goals are less tangible. Some are immeasurable. And some are so long-term that no result is expected to be seen in the near future. These don't motivate me nearly as easily.

I have been "learning" to play to guitar for something like three years now. I am a little better at it than I was a year ago, but not much. I really enjoy playing, but I don't always have a reason to practice, so I just don't. Now, when I have a song I am writing or plan to perform something--Well, then I could practice all day long. But practicing with the goal of "getting better" just doesn't motivate me.

The problem is, the most important goals in life are probably those that are intangible, immeasurable, and long-term. I have many goals in raising my son, for instance. If I concentrate only on things like training him to use a fork or the toilet or to say his own name then I can say I have accomplished something. But isn't training him to be honest and kind and to love God infinitely more important? Yet when can I say that is accomplished?

I think what it boils down to is something I've said many times (often to myself): Sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want. It's called discipline. I have to exercise discipline to continue on toward those hard-to-reach, hard-to-define goals even when it's not fun or I'm not motivated. The good news is I don't have to do it all on my own: The Holy Spirit enables me to do things I couldn't do on my own. In fact, Galatians 5:22-23 says "The fruit of the Spirit is... self-control." Just what I need. Hmm.... So, I guess I should go practice my guitar now.

Run With Abandon

When they had brought them outside, one said, "Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley; escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away."... But his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
Genesis 19:17, 26

Behold, these are the wicked; And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure And washed my hands in innocence.
Psalm 73:13-14


Run With Abandon

What’s a girl to do
When fire’s raining down?
Gotta get out
Now.
One more look.
Could it really hurt?

Run, run with abandon.
Run, no looking back.
Run, run with abandon
Into the loving arms
Of a saving God.
Run.

Look at the wicked.
They eat, they drink, they’re strong.
Has all my holy living
All been for naught?
But do I really want
Their reward?

I’m gonna run, run with abandon.
Run, no looking back.
Run, run with abandon
Into the loving arms
Of a saving God.
Run.

If I Were 22, Single, and Male

I just read this article in the May 2005 issue of Popular Science magazine about Def Con: "the self-proclaimed 'largest underground hacking event in the world.'" The computer hacker in me (who is very small and deeply buried) finds an event like this very attractive. I think if I were 22, single, and male, I'd be there.

On Worship

Some things I have come across recently on the topic of worship. Also check out Chad's post "What is Worship?" at his blog Relevance.

"Worship is not under the control of human beings, nor is the form it takes up to their whims. Rather, worship is a response to a God who initiates toward His people, gives them life, and shows Himself active on their behalf." J. P. Moreland, Love Your God With All Your Mind

"God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:24 (NASB)

"The enemy of worship is not that our desire for pleasure is too strong but too weak! We have settled for a home, a family, a few friends, a job, a television, a microwave oven, an occasionaly night out, a yearly vacation, and perhaps a new personal computer. We have accustomed ourselves to such meager, short-lived pleasures that our capacity for joy has shriveled. And so our worship has shriveled.... The scenery and poetry and music of the majesty of God have dried up like a forgotten peach at the back or the refrigerator." John Piper, Desiring God

"We need to increase our expectations of excellence when it comes to corporate and private worship. And if we do, the proper cultivation of the mind will be a crucial dimension of our excellence in worship. Loving and worshiping God includes the total personality, including the mind. We worship God with our minds when we struggle to read something so we can love and serve Him better, when we understand the contents of the hymn we sing, when we activate our minds and make them ready to hear before given something to which to respond in the worship service." J. P. Moreland, Love Your God With All Your Mind

Just Give Me Jesus

This weekend I attended Anne Graham Lotz's Just Give Me Jesus. I am still sort of processing much of what she said, but I wanted to share (my paraphrase of) one statement she made that has stuck with me:

My purpose in this life is not to be happy or to be comfortable. My purpose is to glorify God.

I already knew this, but hearing it made me think: How do I live my life? Am I always seeking to glorify God? Or do I seek to glorify Him only in my own comfort and happiness? I know I have made choices to sacrifice my comfort in order to glorify God. But, I think I could name those instances off to you--they are not the norm in my life. Normally I choose comfort first. But the very purpose of this life God has given me is to bring Him glory, to serve Him, to worship Him. That should be my number one priority. And I choose that now. I will choose it tomorrow morning. And I hope to choose it everyday from now on.

Nadia Turner

I couldn't let this week end without commenting on American Idol. Not that I have something to say about it every week. But this week, Nadia Turner was sent home. Though not her biggest fan, I have to say, she was the one contestant I picked out from the initial audition shows as a possible winner. She is definitely a talented, confident young woman.

My predictions for the next few weeks:
- Next week we'll say goodbye to Scott Savol
- Then Anthony Federov
- And then Anwar Robinson, or possibly Vonzell Solomon depending on their next few performances.

Another prediction:
As big of a fan as I am of Bo Bice, I've never expected him to win. Second? Maybe.

What I Learned From My One-Year-Old at Legoland

I just got back yesterday from a vacation with my family. Among other places, we visited Legoland. I have always wanted to go to Legoland and, now that I have a child, I finally have a good excuse. Being six months pregnant and having a 19-month old, we didn't ride many rides, but we had a great time.

When we first entered the park, we stopped at a couple of 3-foot-high figures made completely of Legos. Several kids were having their pictures taken with them and my son didn't want to miss out on any of that fun. So we took a couple pictures and started to move on toward one of the attractions. But he wanted to stay there with these Lego statues. We tried to explain to him (since reasoning works so well with one-year-olds) that this was just the beginning, that there was so much more to see, that there was much more fun to be had. "Trust us," we kept telling him, "you are going to have such a good time." He didn't want to hear it, so he threw a fit while my husband picked him up and carried him along.

From my perspective, it was so silly that he wanted to stay there and play, knowing there was a day's worth of excitement waiting just on ahead. But I know that I behave that way sometimes too. God has so much fun and excitement planned for my life, if I would just be willing to leave some of the mediocrity I cling to. I can't see what is up ahead, so, like my son, I stay where I am, thinking, this is good enough. But God wants me to step out in faith. He's saying "Trust me, you are going to have such a good time."

Unmatchable Grace

One of the reasons I started a blog was to post songs I have written. I was motivated by Mark Lee of Third Day via his blog This Guy Falls Down. You can check out his 21 Songwriting Hacks here. You'll see that number one is Start a Blog. So I did. And today I'm posting a song I wrote about a year ago. I hope to do this every occasionally, maybe once a week. Enjoy!

Unmatchable Grace

Those thorns that you wore were my thorns.
The scars that you bore as well.
The death that you died was intended for me.
No greater love could there be.

CHORUS:
Crucified, you died.
You died in my place.
No way to repay
But you did it anyway.
Crucified, you died.
You died in my place.
Unmatchable grace.

Without any sin you were accused,
Deserted by all who you knew.
I still can't get over you did all this for me!
No greater love could there be.

(Chorus)

BRIDGE:
Will I ever see the tears you cried while you suffered my pain?
Or the blood on your hands that washed my sins away?

(Chorus)

Unmatchable grace. (No love like this one.)
Unmatchable grace. (No way to repay.)
Unmatchable grace. (I still can't get over it.)
Unmatchable grace.

Judicial Tyranny

I wanted to make mention of an interesting topic I heard about this week. I caught a portion of Tuesday's Focus on the Family broadcast. Dr. Dobson was reading from his April newsletter about the topic of "Judicial Tyranny". This was the first time I'd ever heard this phrase but I was intrigued to hear his thoughts. Basically, his view is that the United States government structure is flawed in such a way that judges have unchecked power that they can, as some are, abusing. This is leading our government to become an oligarchy instead of the democracy it was intended to be. I have heard of this "loophole", if I may call it that, in our system of checks and balances, but I have never heard specific examples given. The letter itself is very long but I would encourage anyone to read it, especially if you've never heard of this concept before. I haven't heard enough to be totally convinced that Dr. Dobson is right but he certainly makes some very strong points. Even if his broad claims of what is happening to our government are not true, it still stands that there have been definite instances of particular judges exercising their power in a way that does not uphold our Constitution or the values of the American people.

American Idol

I watched the American Idol results show tonight. Nikko Smith is gone. It's down to eight contestants now. Personally, I'm a big fan of both Bo Bice and Constantine Maroulis. The thing is, at this point, they're all really good and I'd love to regularly listen to music by most of them. But most of all I like to watch them compete on the show and critique them myself before the judges get a chance. Well, now another long wait until next Tuesday night!

What a Slow Start!

Wow. I started this blog four days ago and this is only my second entry. I have already determined that I am a bad blogger.

See, this was one of my biggest fears of doing this--that I wouldn't keep up on it. The worst thing about it is that I think of myself as a person who doesn't care about that sort of thing. But it turns out that I do. I am 29 years old and I am just beginning to acknowledge parts of my personality like this. I thought I was more laid back than to care whether or not I kept up on my blog. As I admitted to a friend in a private conversation today, I will now admit to the world (well, the very small portion of it that cares to read this): I have perfectionistic tendencies. There, I said it. Though, I still deny being an all-out perfectionist.

Well, now I have an entry for Tuesday. I'll post more tomorrow. I promise. Well, I promise I'll try. Okay, I'll try to try.

The Beginning

So, with reckless abandon I have started this blog. I'm not sure what exactly it will turn out to be, but if you keep checking back, you'll find out! Thanks for reading!