American Idol

I've got to put in my two cents on this week in American Idol. If you haven't been keeping up, Anwar Robinson was voted off last week and this week, to everyone's (well, my) surprise, Constantine Maroulis went home. I agree with April's recent comment on my previous Idol post: Scott Savol and Anthony Federov definitely deserved to be gone before Constantine! Honestly, every week I am shocked to see Scott still there. And this week, he was in the top three of the six left! This guy definitely has his faithful fans. So, did I vote? No. Would I have voted for Constantine this week? Probably not. But it's just not right. Well, it will be interesting to see how the next few weeks play out.

Technical Difficulties

Okay. Somehow, my blog's template got replaced, meaning the appearance was different. I changed the appearance back but the changes I had made to the template ("books I'm reading" for example) is lost. That's what I get for not backing it up. I will restore that soon. Bummer. Well, maybe I'll make it even better!

The Trouble With Goals

I am a goal-oriented person. Everything I consciously do, I do to acheive a particular end. Not to say that every end is worthy of the effort, nor that every end is reached. Still, having a goal--a purpose of some sort--is what drives me to do things.

The easiest type of goal to work toward is a tangible one. I cook dinner so that, an hour later, I can eat it. It is no problem to motivate me to do something like that. But some goals are less tangible. Some are immeasurable. And some are so long-term that no result is expected to be seen in the near future. These don't motivate me nearly as easily.

I have been "learning" to play to guitar for something like three years now. I am a little better at it than I was a year ago, but not much. I really enjoy playing, but I don't always have a reason to practice, so I just don't. Now, when I have a song I am writing or plan to perform something--Well, then I could practice all day long. But practicing with the goal of "getting better" just doesn't motivate me.

The problem is, the most important goals in life are probably those that are intangible, immeasurable, and long-term. I have many goals in raising my son, for instance. If I concentrate only on things like training him to use a fork or the toilet or to say his own name then I can say I have accomplished something. But isn't training him to be honest and kind and to love God infinitely more important? Yet when can I say that is accomplished?

I think what it boils down to is something I've said many times (often to myself): Sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want. It's called discipline. I have to exercise discipline to continue on toward those hard-to-reach, hard-to-define goals even when it's not fun or I'm not motivated. The good news is I don't have to do it all on my own: The Holy Spirit enables me to do things I couldn't do on my own. In fact, Galatians 5:22-23 says "The fruit of the Spirit is... self-control." Just what I need. Hmm.... So, I guess I should go practice my guitar now.

Run With Abandon

When they had brought them outside, one said, "Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley; escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away."... But his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
Genesis 19:17, 26

Behold, these are the wicked; And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure And washed my hands in innocence.
Psalm 73:13-14


Run With Abandon

What’s a girl to do
When fire’s raining down?
Gotta get out
Now.
One more look.
Could it really hurt?

Run, run with abandon.
Run, no looking back.
Run, run with abandon
Into the loving arms
Of a saving God.
Run.

Look at the wicked.
They eat, they drink, they’re strong.
Has all my holy living
All been for naught?
But do I really want
Their reward?

I’m gonna run, run with abandon.
Run, no looking back.
Run, run with abandon
Into the loving arms
Of a saving God.
Run.

If I Were 22, Single, and Male

I just read this article in the May 2005 issue of Popular Science magazine about Def Con: "the self-proclaimed 'largest underground hacking event in the world.'" The computer hacker in me (who is very small and deeply buried) finds an event like this very attractive. I think if I were 22, single, and male, I'd be there.

On Worship

Some things I have come across recently on the topic of worship. Also check out Chad's post "What is Worship?" at his blog Relevance.

"Worship is not under the control of human beings, nor is the form it takes up to their whims. Rather, worship is a response to a God who initiates toward His people, gives them life, and shows Himself active on their behalf." J. P. Moreland, Love Your God With All Your Mind

"God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:24 (NASB)

"The enemy of worship is not that our desire for pleasure is too strong but too weak! We have settled for a home, a family, a few friends, a job, a television, a microwave oven, an occasionaly night out, a yearly vacation, and perhaps a new personal computer. We have accustomed ourselves to such meager, short-lived pleasures that our capacity for joy has shriveled. And so our worship has shriveled.... The scenery and poetry and music of the majesty of God have dried up like a forgotten peach at the back or the refrigerator." John Piper, Desiring God

"We need to increase our expectations of excellence when it comes to corporate and private worship. And if we do, the proper cultivation of the mind will be a crucial dimension of our excellence in worship. Loving and worshiping God includes the total personality, including the mind. We worship God with our minds when we struggle to read something so we can love and serve Him better, when we understand the contents of the hymn we sing, when we activate our minds and make them ready to hear before given something to which to respond in the worship service." J. P. Moreland, Love Your God With All Your Mind

Just Give Me Jesus

This weekend I attended Anne Graham Lotz's Just Give Me Jesus. I am still sort of processing much of what she said, but I wanted to share (my paraphrase of) one statement she made that has stuck with me:

My purpose in this life is not to be happy or to be comfortable. My purpose is to glorify God.

I already knew this, but hearing it made me think: How do I live my life? Am I always seeking to glorify God? Or do I seek to glorify Him only in my own comfort and happiness? I know I have made choices to sacrifice my comfort in order to glorify God. But, I think I could name those instances off to you--they are not the norm in my life. Normally I choose comfort first. But the very purpose of this life God has given me is to bring Him glory, to serve Him, to worship Him. That should be my number one priority. And I choose that now. I will choose it tomorrow morning. And I hope to choose it everyday from now on.

Nadia Turner

I couldn't let this week end without commenting on American Idol. Not that I have something to say about it every week. But this week, Nadia Turner was sent home. Though not her biggest fan, I have to say, she was the one contestant I picked out from the initial audition shows as a possible winner. She is definitely a talented, confident young woman.

My predictions for the next few weeks:
- Next week we'll say goodbye to Scott Savol
- Then Anthony Federov
- And then Anwar Robinson, or possibly Vonzell Solomon depending on their next few performances.

Another prediction:
As big of a fan as I am of Bo Bice, I've never expected him to win. Second? Maybe.

What I Learned From My One-Year-Old at Legoland

I just got back yesterday from a vacation with my family. Among other places, we visited Legoland. I have always wanted to go to Legoland and, now that I have a child, I finally have a good excuse. Being six months pregnant and having a 19-month old, we didn't ride many rides, but we had a great time.

When we first entered the park, we stopped at a couple of 3-foot-high figures made completely of Legos. Several kids were having their pictures taken with them and my son didn't want to miss out on any of that fun. So we took a couple pictures and started to move on toward one of the attractions. But he wanted to stay there with these Lego statues. We tried to explain to him (since reasoning works so well with one-year-olds) that this was just the beginning, that there was so much more to see, that there was much more fun to be had. "Trust us," we kept telling him, "you are going to have such a good time." He didn't want to hear it, so he threw a fit while my husband picked him up and carried him along.

From my perspective, it was so silly that he wanted to stay there and play, knowing there was a day's worth of excitement waiting just on ahead. But I know that I behave that way sometimes too. God has so much fun and excitement planned for my life, if I would just be willing to leave some of the mediocrity I cling to. I can't see what is up ahead, so, like my son, I stay where I am, thinking, this is good enough. But God wants me to step out in faith. He's saying "Trust me, you are going to have such a good time."

Unmatchable Grace

One of the reasons I started a blog was to post songs I have written. I was motivated by Mark Lee of Third Day via his blog This Guy Falls Down. You can check out his 21 Songwriting Hacks here. You'll see that number one is Start a Blog. So I did. And today I'm posting a song I wrote about a year ago. I hope to do this every occasionally, maybe once a week. Enjoy!

Unmatchable Grace

Those thorns that you wore were my thorns.
The scars that you bore as well.
The death that you died was intended for me.
No greater love could there be.

CHORUS:
Crucified, you died.
You died in my place.
No way to repay
But you did it anyway.
Crucified, you died.
You died in my place.
Unmatchable grace.

Without any sin you were accused,
Deserted by all who you knew.
I still can't get over you did all this for me!
No greater love could there be.

(Chorus)

BRIDGE:
Will I ever see the tears you cried while you suffered my pain?
Or the blood on your hands that washed my sins away?

(Chorus)

Unmatchable grace. (No love like this one.)
Unmatchable grace. (No way to repay.)
Unmatchable grace. (I still can't get over it.)
Unmatchable grace.

Judicial Tyranny

I wanted to make mention of an interesting topic I heard about this week. I caught a portion of Tuesday's Focus on the Family broadcast. Dr. Dobson was reading from his April newsletter about the topic of "Judicial Tyranny". This was the first time I'd ever heard this phrase but I was intrigued to hear his thoughts. Basically, his view is that the United States government structure is flawed in such a way that judges have unchecked power that they can, as some are, abusing. This is leading our government to become an oligarchy instead of the democracy it was intended to be. I have heard of this "loophole", if I may call it that, in our system of checks and balances, but I have never heard specific examples given. The letter itself is very long but I would encourage anyone to read it, especially if you've never heard of this concept before. I haven't heard enough to be totally convinced that Dr. Dobson is right but he certainly makes some very strong points. Even if his broad claims of what is happening to our government are not true, it still stands that there have been definite instances of particular judges exercising their power in a way that does not uphold our Constitution or the values of the American people.

American Idol

I watched the American Idol results show tonight. Nikko Smith is gone. It's down to eight contestants now. Personally, I'm a big fan of both Bo Bice and Constantine Maroulis. The thing is, at this point, they're all really good and I'd love to regularly listen to music by most of them. But most of all I like to watch them compete on the show and critique them myself before the judges get a chance. Well, now another long wait until next Tuesday night!

What a Slow Start!

Wow. I started this blog four days ago and this is only my second entry. I have already determined that I am a bad blogger.

See, this was one of my biggest fears of doing this--that I wouldn't keep up on it. The worst thing about it is that I think of myself as a person who doesn't care about that sort of thing. But it turns out that I do. I am 29 years old and I am just beginning to acknowledge parts of my personality like this. I thought I was more laid back than to care whether or not I kept up on my blog. As I admitted to a friend in a private conversation today, I will now admit to the world (well, the very small portion of it that cares to read this): I have perfectionistic tendencies. There, I said it. Though, I still deny being an all-out perfectionist.

Well, now I have an entry for Tuesday. I'll post more tomorrow. I promise. Well, I promise I'll try. Okay, I'll try to try.

The Beginning

So, with reckless abandon I have started this blog. I'm not sure what exactly it will turn out to be, but if you keep checking back, you'll find out! Thanks for reading!