I spent a good portion of the previous week celebrating my 30th birthday. Several weeks back, my sister had asked what I wanted to do to celebrate. I told her some things I had thought of but realized that having recently had a baby 1) I don't feel like planning some sort of get together like I normally would and 2) I think everyone must be getting tired of giving me all the attention. Well, I had four separate birthday celebrations, two of them surprises, and I had a great time! The last one was the biggest surprise: The first three were all with family and I had really wanted to do something fun with my friends. By Sunday, I had decided that that wasn't going to happen and then SURPRISE!, it did!
See, in my life things happen in one of three ways:
1) Sara wants something. Sara gets it. (95% of the time)
2) Sara wants something. Sara doesn't get it right away, is disappointed, but accepts it. Sara gets what she wanted anyway. (4.5%)
3) Sara wants something. Sara doesn't get it, is disappointed, but accepts it. Sara realizes it's better that she doesn't have what she wanted. (.5%)
I call that "spoiled". My husband suggested "blessed". I think the difference is how it's received. Certainly I take many things for granted, but in the last week I have been reminded that I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for. At the (100%) risk of sounding cliche (and I've always thought this sounded so insincere, though I mean it): That's the best birthday gift of all.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Wretched man that I am!
"For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."
Romans 7:14-25 (NASB)
Today I identified with Paul's struggle. I went to the grocery store for only the second time alone with both kids. Shopping with an infant and a toddler is made much easier by these neat carts some of the grocery stores have. Our store has these carts where one or two children can sit inside the "car" and then another can sit in the normal grocery cart seat. This worked great for me the first shopping trip. Well, today I arrived at the store, baby car seat/carrier in one hand, toddler's hand in the other, only to search the front of the store, ask for assistance and find that all two of these carts were currently in use. (Have you ever been in a situation and you get to a point where you realize things are not going to turn out well no matter what you do from here on out, and you have the choice to keep going anyway or bail? I had just reached that point. I decided to keep on.) So my son, who's not quite two, walked with me. Now, you expect that's where the problem was, right? No, he did great. Did my baby cry the whole time? No, she slept like, well, like a baby. It was me. I was the problem. I was so upset the store would only have two carts capable of holding more than one child. Oh, and then, as I shopped, when I would see the shoppers using the car carts--I kept looking at them like it was their fault. Everytime I passed a store employee and they cheerfully greeted me, I would say "Hi" with a tone and facial expression to convey how miserable I was and all because of them. But all along, I kept telling myself, "Everything's going fine. Just get over it and enjoy the shopping trip. Be happy. You're just making yourself miserable." But I wouldn't listen to myself! "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" Today's experience is rather silly, but the struggle is so real! "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."
Romans 7:14-25 (NASB)
Today I identified with Paul's struggle. I went to the grocery store for only the second time alone with both kids. Shopping with an infant and a toddler is made much easier by these neat carts some of the grocery stores have. Our store has these carts where one or two children can sit inside the "car" and then another can sit in the normal grocery cart seat. This worked great for me the first shopping trip. Well, today I arrived at the store, baby car seat/carrier in one hand, toddler's hand in the other, only to search the front of the store, ask for assistance and find that all two of these carts were currently in use. (Have you ever been in a situation and you get to a point where you realize things are not going to turn out well no matter what you do from here on out, and you have the choice to keep going anyway or bail? I had just reached that point. I decided to keep on.) So my son, who's not quite two, walked with me. Now, you expect that's where the problem was, right? No, he did great. Did my baby cry the whole time? No, she slept like, well, like a baby. It was me. I was the problem. I was so upset the store would only have two carts capable of holding more than one child. Oh, and then, as I shopped, when I would see the shoppers using the car carts--I kept looking at them like it was their fault. Everytime I passed a store employee and they cheerfully greeted me, I would say "Hi" with a tone and facial expression to convey how miserable I was and all because of them. But all along, I kept telling myself, "Everything's going fine. Just get over it and enjoy the shopping trip. Be happy. You're just making yourself miserable." But I wouldn't listen to myself! "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" Today's experience is rather silly, but the struggle is so real! "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I Mean It...
...I'm not abandoning my blog!
Things have been so hectic. I have found myself holding my baby about 12 to 14 hours a day. There aren't many things one can do while holding a baby so that leaves 10 to 12 hours a day for everything else: sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom.... Needless to say, blogging is down the list a way. Well, one day I will be able to return to more regular posts, but when you don't hear from me for a while, now you know why.
On another topic, I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks. It's kind of funny: I don't have any expectations about my thirties. Since I was young, I looked forward to certain ages: 12, 17, 21, 25.... But that's where it ended. I don't have anything I dreamed of doing in my thirties or even thoughts of what life would be like. That makes it kind of exciting. I'm looking forward to this decade of my life. It's like starting with a blank canvas. I look forward to seeing what God will paint on this canvas. I wonder what sort of trials I will face and what kinds of victories I will celebrate. I wonder what my family will look like ten years from now. Hmm... I wonder what I will look like ten years from now. Maybe I shouldn't go there. :) But, seriously, I have no idea. I don't have plans.
I just had an idea! I will make myself a goal for the next decade: A "live life to the fullest" sort of goal. And you can help! What sort of primer would you put on a blank canvas like this? Do you have any advice for someone entering her thirties? (Whether you've been there yet or not!) Post your comments here and I will compose and post a "goal" for my thirties with your help over the next couple weeks! I'll put a lot of thought into it--Now, that's something I can do while I hold my baby!
Things have been so hectic. I have found myself holding my baby about 12 to 14 hours a day. There aren't many things one can do while holding a baby so that leaves 10 to 12 hours a day for everything else: sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom.... Needless to say, blogging is down the list a way. Well, one day I will be able to return to more regular posts, but when you don't hear from me for a while, now you know why.
On another topic, I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks. It's kind of funny: I don't have any expectations about my thirties. Since I was young, I looked forward to certain ages: 12, 17, 21, 25.... But that's where it ended. I don't have anything I dreamed of doing in my thirties or even thoughts of what life would be like. That makes it kind of exciting. I'm looking forward to this decade of my life. It's like starting with a blank canvas. I look forward to seeing what God will paint on this canvas. I wonder what sort of trials I will face and what kinds of victories I will celebrate. I wonder what my family will look like ten years from now. Hmm... I wonder what I will look like ten years from now. Maybe I shouldn't go there. :) But, seriously, I have no idea. I don't have plans.
I just had an idea! I will make myself a goal for the next decade: A "live life to the fullest" sort of goal. And you can help! What sort of primer would you put on a blank canvas like this? Do you have any advice for someone entering her thirties? (Whether you've been there yet or not!) Post your comments here and I will compose and post a "goal" for my thirties with your help over the next couple weeks! I'll put a lot of thought into it--Now, that's something I can do while I hold my baby!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Quick Post
Just a quick post to say I'm not abandoning my blog! I'm actually preparing an entry on some deep thoughts I've had recently. In the mean time, check out this personality test I found over at Two Blonde Boys.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
