The Night

The night used to hold such mystery. I remember getting out of bed one night after I’d been tucked in and finding my older sister eating a green Popsicle (the best flavor, as everyone knows, yet apparently the toughest to make since they would only put one or two in a box). I had always guessed that I was missing out on good things by going to bed and this just confirmed my belief. I can also remember nights I would wake up after everyone in the house was in bed and asleep. It was so silent. I would lie in bed and wonder if every house was this silent or if there were people up and about at this hour. In college, I stayed up many nights with friends, sometimes late enough to watch the sun rise. We had the whole Fresno State campus to ourselves. We would walk around, play games, and just generally waste the night away. I would go back to my dorm and everyone would be just waking up for another dull day. Finally I was on the other side! They had missed out on fun all night and I hadn’t! I had finally captured some of what I knew the night had to offer! But my grades suffered and I returned, more or less, to the discipline of sleeping at night. And I still felt I was missing out. Now, many years later, I often find myself up late at night or in the very early hours of the morn. But there are no games, no friends, no Popsicles. My nights now are for sleeping when I can and taking care of little ones’ needs when I must. I no longer wonder about, fear, nor desire the night. It’s really a lot like the day, only darker and quieter. The night used to hold such mystery.